I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
