the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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