You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
