my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
