I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
