And the cops told us we were all naked.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
