why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
