I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
