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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's worth it.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How worth it?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Back door worth it

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.

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• (760): View more from California

  But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy

  (530): View more from California

  I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  What's an angry pirate?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom

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