You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
