Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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