..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
