I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
