I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
