It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Everclear isn't food dammit
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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