I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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