So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
