Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
