We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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