Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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