Pregnant stripper...not hot.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
