i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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