He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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