bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
