i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
