all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
