was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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