they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
