hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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