are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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