Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You are a genius and a whore.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
