what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
