i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
