dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
