I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
