nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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