I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
