sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
