mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
