Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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