i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
