JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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