you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am naked and annoyed.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
