I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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