Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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