Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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