my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
