just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
