Moan for me like Helen Keller
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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