I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
