Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
